More Risk = More Reward

I was right, yesterday was awful.

I vomited yesterday morning and the rest of my day was consumed by severe nausea. Zofran didn’t help, so suffering was the only option. I also received a call that my long term disability has to be reviewed for an additional 30 days. How nice is it that you work your ass off for a company, then after they let you go due to your illness, they do everything in their power not to pay you? Seriously, how charming is corporate America?

There is more than enough documentation on file for my LTD to be approved, but instead they’re combing through it to see if they can find a loophole not to pay me. I’m not an idiot (anymore). I’m fully aware that all companies offer long-term disability to their employees as an added benefit, but then do everything they can to get out of paying.

Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t of wasted the best years of my life working. I’ve been working since I was 16, I always worked hard and always made choices that would provide me with the best insurance and benefits. I knew one day I could become too ill to work, of course I thought it would’ve been after 40, and I wanted to make sure I’d have some benefits and not end up on the street. However I’m learning, if I would’ve moved off to California when I was 18 like I wanted, not only would my life be completely different, but I would probably be in the same situation of being broke as hell.

I think everyone wishes they would have made different choices in their life, personally I feel like I should’ve taken more risk. I spent too many years worrying about getting sick one day and trying to prepare for it, that I never really lived. Now here I am really sick, where going to the store for milk is a daunting task, and I have nothing to show. I don’t have any great achievements, I don’t have any children to pass my wisdom on to, and I haven’t made any notable contributions to society.

I am just a twenty-five year old woman trapped in prison for a crime she didn’t commit and without a heart transplant, that’s all I’ll ever be.


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