Sick + Tired

I feel like crying and I think crying is annoying, I hate that I am so annoying.

For the first time ever, Hamilton slept through the night, which means I should be feeling amazing for getting a full nights rest. Except I woke up this morning with a super severe sore throat.

It’s like, “gosh darn it, why is it when one thing goes right something else goes wrong?”

All I know is I’ve been feeling like crap for months and months now, with practically no relief. I can’t even remember the last time I was able to go 24 hours without some sort of pain, shortness of breath or fatigue. Then on top of that, I’ve been fighting a mild cold for weeks and then today I woke up aware I was much worse than yesterday. So I called and made a doctors appointment, because I just can’t get behind the wait and see if it gets any worse mentality.

Really, I guess I should be thankful since this should mean better days are ahead. But at this current moment, I just wish I felt better now. I was supposed to go to cardiac rehab today, but I’m definitely not making it now. I haven’t been able to go in 2 weeks due to one thing or another, and I guess this will just be another reason.

It’s frustrating at times being stuck between feeling guilty for not doing something because you’re sick, and knowing you shouldn’t be doing something because you’re sick.

Posted in Now

3 thoughts on “Sick + Tired

  1. If you think crying is annoying, I’d drive you nuts! I cry at least once a week! I just wanted to say I can fully relate to “just when one thing gets better something else goes wrong/gets worse/pops up to ruin things” – it just seems like life is almost created so that happens! (for example: you wash your car, it rains!) Anyway I’m so sorry you’re feeling so poorly. There’s something about a raging sore throat that is especially annoying! I hope you get to the doctor soon and I really hope this cold you have goes away ASAP! I’ve been in chronic pain and fatigue for 24 years and you’d think I’d get used to it, but honestly, I never have. I mean it’s my reality, and I have accepted it and try to live the best life I can in spite of it, but it’s still hard. Feel better soon! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah false guilt is brutal ! We are much too hard on ourselves! I had a heart issue on the last day of January and haven’t worked or much of anything else since. I know guilt but I’m not willing to go back there just to die on the job. Your heart is critical to life so give it lots of love from you. Hubert

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s