Today was good, after a very long time I got a surprising answer. I feel a new sense of peace with this information and I want to share it with all of you.
Today I was told by Dr. Tom, who I’ve come to adore for his genuine attitude, that while I do have heart failure it is not end stage heart failure. This simply means I’m not sick enough for a transplant. Which somehow correlated to the sum of: build up leg muscles, which I think was a polite way to say lose weight, and my quality of life will improve. Can you believe that in 2006 it was recommend I stop all cardio increasing activities and now that’s what I’m ultimately working towards?
So after over a decade of a constant fear of activities that could raise my heart rate, I’m determined to overcome that. I don’t want to be a slave to the fear and pain my body endures. I want to be a Warrior, someone who fights through it all and doesn’t show how the wounds phase her.
A warrior is who I shall become because this isn’t temporary, this is my life.