Back Pain Remains

Relationships are hard, everyone has their own issues to overcome. My issues with people just happen to almost always correlate with my chronic illness issues.

Sure, my feelings are hurt from time to time. I often let people know when they hurt my feelings either with a statement or a death glare followed by silence.

I do not tolerate people who upset me. So once it occurs, I evaluate if they’re worth the energy of my words. If they aren’t, I probably never speak to them again. If they are, I try to explain why their comment hurt my feelings.

This is how I have learned to manage my severely limited energy. I am always tired, I can never get enough sleep. Every single action I take has been thought through. I also know if I’m having fun, I’m probably going to pay for it later.

A great example of this is how I had an AMAZING vacation and I’ve been in bed almost non stop since getting home. My back hurts so freaking bad and after seeing 3 different doctors, I still haven’t had any imaging done. It’s so painful and exhausting, not mention this is the worst fatigue I’ve ever had.

I know there will be better days, at some point, but being positive until they come is really hard for me. I’m just so tired of being sick and tired, you know?

Posted in Now

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